I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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