for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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