honey bunches of taint.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize