yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
