Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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