apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
