If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
cat food counts as protein by the way
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
