I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
