Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize