are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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