do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The Olympian is in my bed
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