This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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