Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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