i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
