I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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