Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
