Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
