im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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