So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
