On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You took a bar mat shot.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
