4 words: hood of his car
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
