A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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