youre lurking in front of me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
