"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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