Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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