Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize