so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
