is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
