omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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