she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize