He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
