biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
