my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
