And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
