wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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