Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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