I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
