I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
