Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
