that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
