You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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