that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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