Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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