...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
