so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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