I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
dude. I can hear the air.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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