We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
