I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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