I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
