Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We left the knife in your bed.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
