What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
