there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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