u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize