But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
