i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
