NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
True strength comes from lack of pants
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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