he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
