btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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