singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Let's paint friendship bongs
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
