End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
