Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
wow bdsm is so cute
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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