I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
