K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
