Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize