At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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