Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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