After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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