I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
