Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
